The Martin Family walk The Clarendon Way
Jack enjoying a ride in a fast car
My family faced an enormous blow nine years ago when my son Jack was diagnosed with leukaemia. A very big challenge for my family, especially as Jack was autistic and already had a number of difficulties because of the autism. The family were very brave and we went about supporting Jack in a very positive and strong way.
Three years after treatment finished Jack relapsed and this resulted in a bone marrow transplant in 2007. It was around this time that our consultant told us about Naomi House and the ways the charity offers care to families who are facing the news that they have a child who may die. In 2008 we visited Naomi House for a few days respite. But it did not go to plan. Jack was 13, a teenager, but because of his autism he had the behaviour of a seven year old. He found it difficult to adjust to the hospice and became very stressed. We recognised that the hospice was not quite the right environment for Jack at that particular time. This was not a problem for the charity, which has an individual approach to every family who uses the services it provides. Jack’s referral to the hospice remained in place, and the team at Naomi House would be ready to help us when we needed it.
In March this year Jack relapsed again and we were back in contact with Naomi House when we were told that Jack had a matter of weeks to live. We felt we could benefit from the help the hospice team could give at this highly emotional time. The Naomi House nurses and carers listened to us and worked with us to help us through the traumatic time at the end of a Jack’s life.
We chose to turn to the team because Jack could remember Naomi House from his previous visit. Jack had said, “I love it at Naomi House”, and we knew that the hospice was the right place to spend our last precious days with him. We felt comforted knowing that Jack had chosen Naomi House himself.
The next two and a half weeks passed very quickly at Naomi House, not least because Jack developed an infection and he needed very intense care in the final days. Dave, my husband, and I were able to give Jack all our attention. Jack’s brother and sister, Joe and Amy, were also at the hospice. They were able to play and let off steam because of the team who were on hand to keep them occupied. They could be themselves during a time that was far from normal. They didn’t have to be quiet, they could make friends with the other families who were also visiting Naomi House and talk to the nursing staff about how they were feeling. Knowing that Joe and Amy were around and cared for helped relieve some of the pressure that we were experiencing and meant we could make Jack our first priority.
Jack sadly died on 19th April 2010, which has left us all with a huge vacuum in our family. We are starting to put the pieces of our lives back together and the children have been anxious to find ways to remember our brave and wonderful son Jack. As part of rebuilding and looking to the future, we want to make sure Jack is a part of what we do next. Together we have decided to give something back to Naomi House, to say thank you for helping us cope at the end of Jack’s life.
The family walked the annual Clarendon Way Walk for Naomi House this year. Dave and I felt that we could do the whole walk, but as Joe wanted to take part as well we opted for the 12 mile section between Broughton and Salisbury. We’ve been training hard and have broken in our new walking boots. It’s a big challenge – but one that is bringing us together as a family and achieving something that has Jack at the centre of our efforts.
Naomi House has made an incredible difference to our family. The team there made an extraordinary and painful experience more bearable. We know that Jack was in a place where he felt happy and cared for at the end of his life, and that means a huge amount to us. It is important to us that the community understands what a special place the hospice is, and how it offers families like ours the chance to say goodbye in warm and loving surroundings. Walking the Clarendon Way was our way of saying thank you to everyone at Naomi House.
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